I'm gonna have a badass scar
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
