I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
