Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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