none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
