He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize