the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
