Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Plan B is the new Plan A
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
