I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize