hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
