And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Randomize