You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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