but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
