She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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