im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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