he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
the raccoons are back...
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