successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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