did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize