Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
