Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
