I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
