Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
