i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
