You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
