It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
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I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
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i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn