omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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