Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday