I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
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you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
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Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.