Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...