benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
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Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
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we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...