I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?