Can Purell be used as lube?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
