return my video game
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize