talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
