This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
