He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm passing your future prison.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize