i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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