Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
