at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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