It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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