he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
