party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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