I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize