2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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