i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize