just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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