I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
