it hurts more in the daytime
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
im six kinds of drunk right now
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
