So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize