I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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