im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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