some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Watching her eat just hurts me
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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