And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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