The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just sucked dick on a ferry
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
