im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Vodka?
Forever.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
that is very illegal...i love you.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
