I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
