I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
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