chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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