yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
