I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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