my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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