CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I love you.
Bad choice
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
