I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
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