Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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