at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
