honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
