i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
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