We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
so let's talk penis.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
