real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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