This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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