I'm going to jail i love you
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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